Welcome to the Human Prototype blog, a space where the past and present converge to showcase the evolution of a life in progress. Inspired by my TEDx talk, "I am a Prototype," this blog is part of a broader journey of transformation through journaling, capturing the essence of living as a perpetual prototype. Each week, during 2024, I reviewed my archives from 2016, contrasting journal scans filled with drawings against the backdrop of my current experiences.
On My Way to Find Myself
Then: January 23-29, 2017
Wow, I went to France more often when I lived in Dubai than I do now, even though I live just a few hours away in the UK.
Shame on me.
2017 me continues to inspire 2025 me.
Lately, I’ve been wondering—what happened to me?
How did I become small?
How did I become a hermit?
How did I become so scared of everything?
Is that what living in London does to you? The lack of sunshine? The lack of safety? But what about the abundance of creativity and inspiration? The songs of the birds and the beautiful spring flowers—so rare in Dubai?
Or is it getting older? Learning to see joy as an unproductive distraction that doesn’t belong to adults?
Or was it COVID? It had a bigger impact on my life than I thought. At first, it was okay—the weather was great, and there was a sense of global community. We’re in this together. Let’s clap on Tuesday evenings for the frontline workers.
But the fear.
The fear that a loved one might die.
The fear that you might never see them again.
That leaves an imprint.
Or was it work? Giving parts of myself away for money, to the point of burnout and the inability to function? That must have left scars, too.
Or was it the overdose of productivity and hustle culture—the Gary Vee and Steven Bartlett podcasts I consumed like candy, without much critical thinking?
Or was it simply astrology? A cosmic path written in the stars to shape me into who I am today—to teach me lessons I can share with others later?
It’s probably a combination of all these things. It might be something else entirely. It doesn’t matter.
I’m grateful for all of it.
And I’m grateful to reconnect with 2017 me now and then—to recover the parts of myself that I lost along the way.
May you find yourself on a journey of self-discovery that brings you peace and joy galore.
Now: January 27- February 2, 2025
A good week. A couple of days at the office, including one with some sunshine. On Thursday, I had a delightful impromptu lunch with a colleague who, like me, navigates the spiritual realms and the early retirement route. He shared his progress with me, and I found myself wishing I could be where he is. The thing is, I tend not to trust that I can do anything like that.
On Friday, I went to a friend’s Chinese New Year party, and once again, I was impressed by their ability to take action, make smart investments, and build a stable financial future.
But I’m encouraged to believe that this can change—that I can push through these self-made limitations. Step by step. Better start now.
I’m eating too much. I just ate too many snacks, and I feel full, but my mouth still wants to eat—to feel the crunch. What should I do? It feels like my mouth is bored and just wants a crispy, crunchy distraction. The same way my brain craves endless scrolling on social media.
On Sunday, I went back to yoga, and it felt like a great accomplishment. That being said, I’ve been doing this class since 2021. While it’s great in some ways, it’s also a reminder of old patterns. I wonder if I want to change my habits entirely to break free from the version of myself that no longer serves me.
I recently watched a video on YouTube about how to accelerate growth in any area. It suggested immersion—for example, moving to a country to learn a new language. That made me wonder: am I immersed in the right environment? But I’m still unclear about who exactly I want to be.
At the moment, I’d just like to not eat as much.
On Saturday, I attended a local event called Hearth Songs and sang with a small group of people. I even talked to a few people. Ah! Look at me opening up and connecting. I’m hoping to learn a few songs I can bring to other gatherings.
January felt very long, almost never-ending, and now things are accelerating. Before you know it, 2025 will be over.
Every morning, I continue to wake up and decide to have a great day. Every night, I count my blessings before falling asleep.
I’m proud to say I have successfully removed YouTube videos from my sleep routine and now put my phone away at 9:30 PM, not looking at it for the first 30 minutes of my day. It’s a great accomplishment, but I notice I’m still an addict, frantically scrolling just before or after the curfew.
This will get better.
Thank you for being here. ❤️
Companion Links: Extend Your Journey
- Lee Harris February Energy Update
- A song I learned at the Hearth Songs local event:
Spread the Word
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Together, let's embrace the beauty of becoming, the intrigue of what was, and the promise of what is yet to come.
