Welcome to the Human Prototype blog, a space where the past and present converge to showcase the evolution of a life in progress. Inspired by my TEDx talk, "I am a Prototype," this blog is part of a broader journey of transformation through journaling, capturing the essence of living as a perpetual prototype. Each week, during 2024, I reviewed my archives from 2016, contrasting journal scans filled with drawings against the backdrop of my current experiences.
(RE)CONNECT
Then: January 9- 15, 2017
The week of January 9th, 2017, in Dubai seemed great. Daily meditation practice for the win again, plus some CrossFit, dancing, and sightseeing. It also looks like I had some AliExpress orders arrive—always a major highlight! I had (and still have) an addiction to stationery and stickers, and AliExpress has been my official supplier of dopamine rushes. All these little boxes, filled with colorful items yet to be transformed into creative pursuits—like my journal!
I also attended a watercolor workshop, which was lovely. I still have the paint box that was gifted to us. I’m in awe of people who organize these types of workshops. For some reason, I’ve always felt like I’m really bad at them. But am I, though? Or could I get better with some practice? Probably. And I’d like to try. Okay, maybe one day. I’d like to. Ah! Stress!
Anyway, when I went back through my phone to find pictures from that week, I found sketchnotes—a technique for taking notes using doodles. I had attended a workshop (yes, another one!) and wanted to practice, so naturally, I used my work notes as a canvas. In fact, I even led a few workshops at work to teach people how to take notes this way! And you know what? I don’t think I was bad at it.
So, there we go. There is hope, my friends! Hope for redemption in my career as a workshop organizer. Yes, I want to believe it!
Now: January 13-19, 2025
In the last few weeks, I have used a voice-over and a transcript as inputs for this blog. This made things very easy for me—I was able to go through each week with flow. But today, I feel a little different. I’m going back to writing and trusting that I can write.
I wish writing came to me more easily, but truth be told, English is my second language, and I don’t read many beautifully written books these days. It’s mostly nonfiction business books and emails. But who knows? This might change if I decide it to. That’s the power of prototyping, isn’t it?
Anyway, I’m here now, with my keyboard. It’s a cute Apple keyboard I bought in a secondhand shop. I think it was previously displayed in an Apple Store, as the Bluetooth name indicated. Many people might have typed words on this keyboard before me, in an Apple Store, probably in London. I find buying something in an Apple Store quite a special experience—or at least, that’s how I remember it. My last time was Christmas 2020 when I bought my iPad Pro. It was a weird time. The stores were closed because of the pandemic, but you could still pick up your orders. The sales rep was very nice; we chatted a little about Procreate, and he seemed genuinely curious about what I planned to do with the iPad. Fast forward to 2025: I bought my current laptop, my Apple Watch, and this keyboard at my local secondhand shop. No special Apple Store experience, no Apple stickers, no white bag. But I saved some money and hopefully did my part in reducing overconsumption (though that might be a bit presumptuous).
Okay, so I forgot I was here to write about the week of January 13th, 2025—and I’m writing this on February 2nd. Over the past month, it’s been really hard to keep up with this journal. We’re approaching the finish line, and I still don’t know why I’ve been doing it. At first, I thought I would witness a great unfolding into my higher self, my higher purpose, or whatever it’s called. I thought I would be documenting a life in transformation. And in some ways, I have. 2024 was a year of transformation in many ways. So maybe I have, in fact, documented the genesis of something bigger. But isn’t every year, month, week, day, minute, and second the genesis of a transformation?
Back to January 13th. It was a great week—a few data points:
- I went to the dentist for a hygiene visit, and she said I could come back in a year, which made me very happy.
- I met with a business coach for advice on my integration cards. The advice was there—my motivation, not so much. But it’s not far off!
- I started the application process with Access to Work to get a support worker (this is on my 2025 goals board, by the way). I began thinking it might not work, but I pushed through because the worst that could happen was that they’d say no.
- On Thursday, I went to the office, which was extremely busy, and attended an after-work party that was just so nice! Connecting with new colleagues helped me a bit with my isolation wounds.
- Over the weekend, I joined three friends for a Circle ceremony. It was beautiful and tough at the same time. It called for deep introspection that I think I’m still processing—revisiting my sense of self-worth, my legitimacy in this work, my connection to others, and how to identify and honor my needs. As I said, this is still a work in progress.
It felt like a week where I slowly started coming back to life after hibernation—but not quite fully out of it yet.
I’ve been feeling extremely tired, going to bed super early and waking up later than I’d like.
And over the last week, I’ve been honoring a slower pace at work and at home, trying not to compare myself to others. Although, I do wonder—at what point should I start getting concerned about my general apathy for life?
Ah!
What a cliffhanger for this post. ;)
Stay well, dear ones.
Much love,
Deb
Companion Links: Extend Your Journey
- If you have a disability or health condition, you could get support from the Access To Work scheme to help you get or stay in work:
- Pam Gregory: New Moon in Aquarius
Spread the Word
Found something that moved you or made you think? Share it with your circle!
Together, let's embrace the beauty of becoming, the intrigue of what was, and the promise of what is yet to come.
